Thursday, February 11, 2010
Hosed
So every Wednesday a bunch of friends and I go to the same restaurant for wings. So this past Wednesday I'm driving to wings when a friend calls. I'm sitting in the parking lot when a man walks up and motions as if he would like to talk to me. I open the door and ask what he wants. "Money for groceries for his family", he says. I give him all the cash I have, $2.11. He asks for more. I say no. He asks if I could go to an ATM. I lie about how I don't have a nearby bank account. Feeling guilty, I offer to take him to the Hardee's across the street and buy him a bucket of chicken for his family. He says he wants something healthier for his kids. I collect my thoughts and suggest that I go to Farm Fresh (a grocery store) and buy his groceries for him. I thought that surely he would accept. He said that Farm Fresh was too expensive and he wanted to go to a cheaper place for groceries. He still wanted the ATM. Now here is the really sad part. Most people would have walked away from this guy so as not to feed a bad habit. I gave in and got him $20 from the ATM. I got hosed. He asked afterward if we could pray. I said sure. I forgot his name and therefore prayed a really awkward and impersonal prayer. I need to work on how I handle people asking me for money.
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Scott - your intentions here are honorable. Having lived in cities with prevalent homeless populations and street buskers (Asheville, NC - believe it or not & NYC) - this was an issue I faced on a daily basis & had to make some hard & fast rules with myself re: how to handle this issue as a whole... (more on that later if you care to know.)
ReplyDeleteHoweves, I encourage a Heavy Dose of Street Smarts here. I am also the lady who got held up at gun point in an alley in Brooklyn, NY when trying to "help someone". Not. A. Fun. Day. I *hope* that you did not take this gentleman with you to the ATM, but rather left & returned to him.
Lastly, we are never truly "hosed" when we do things out of a deep desire (due solely to the initiating love of Christ) to help others. The best part about offering assistance*/giving gifts to those in need is that it's not up to us to judge the hearts/motives of the receiver. Rest assured you made the right choice.
*freely giving as opposed to ENABLING in order to meet our own needs re: purpose, self-fulfillment, etc.
This is my 2 cents, er $2.11, for what it's worth. Additionally, I hope that it's helpful that I write this as opposed to speak it entirely too fast in person :)
ummmm... I just noticed that my comment is almost as long as your post. Meep! I always have too much to say. (embarrassed).
ReplyDeleteJames and me were in the dirty-krog-krog on south main one time and this dude came up and asked us for 50 cents becuase he needed that much more to reach a total of $2.87 to buy one can of steele reserve so we gave him the two quarters.
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