Saturday, October 23, 2010

Fall

I love fall. College football, cool mornings, leaves changing awesome colors, Thanksgiving, Halloween candy, running without perfusely sweating, the onset of flannel, and hunting season all make fall awesome. I went home last weekend for homecoming at Virginia Tech. I realy do miss the mountains and how breathtaking the trees are in fall. In Norfolk, leaves don't really change colors, they just die and fall off. Speaking of hunting season, I'm going hunting at my farm in Charlotte County, VA later this fall and I'm pumped. We used to grow Christmas trees there, but have recently rented it out for soybeans. The picture below and right is of the farm covered in said soybeans. Anyway, Blacksburg was beautiful and VT won. I got to give my buddy Miles a grand tour as hopefully he will be the future of VT. I got to see some awesome friends and even eat some Carol Lee Donuts. Mmmm is an understatement. I even got to drive one of my favorite roads through Catawba down by the homeplace. Gabby loved it almost as much as I did. Country road driving in the fall is unbeatable.


The Navy is confusing

About a month ago, the Navy put a new commander in charge of the shipyard. I feel a little bad for the guy because he had to move from the Pearl Harbor shipyard. I think I would quit if my boss told me to move from Pearl Harbor to Portsmouth. So this new guy has brought a lot of energy and a few traditions to Norfolk. The first is everyday at 8 am, the national anthem is played. Over the loudspeaker system I didn't know existed. It's a little like 1984/V for Vendetta. If you are outside, you must stop walking during the anthem. If you are in your car, you must stop driving during the anthem. I sit in a cubicle and read, so it doesn't really affect me. It's only bewildering to me if I'm in the little boys room.


Another tradition the new commander instituted last week was shipyard cleanup day. That sounds like a good idea, and it is. A little planning and execution would have made it really good. Here's how it went down. An email went out to all 7,000 employees telling them to assemble at the end of a pier. So at 7:20 Thursday morning, about 7,000 people gathered on this pier. Some dude got on the microphone and said the following:

"Welcome to shipyard cleanup day. Let's start with some stretching. Reach your hands up as high as you can. Now reach down and touch whatever you can. Now grab your shoulder and twist. Ok good. Now I want yall to just walk around and if you see something that you aren't proud of or needs cleanup, do it. We have about 30-40 brooms so let's get to it!"

Wow. Let's diagnose that. I'm not sure he knows much about stretching. I'm not a physical therapist, but "Touch whatever you can" is not great technique. I still don't know what "Grab your shoulder and twist" means. I'm pretty sure 30-40 brooms is inadequate for 7,000 people. So after feeling exceptionally limber, I walked around with my coworkers, picked up trash, observed confused dudes with nothing to do, and shoveled dirt with a dustpan. Yeah you read that correctly. I found a large amount of dirt impeding drainage to a storm drain, so I asked upper management for a shovel. "We don't have any shovels" was the reply. So I found a dustpan and shoveled dirt in to trashbags for about an hour. A few more hours of picking up trash and it was time for the commander to say a few words. I stood amongst the 4,000 clueless shipyard folk as the speaker setup was inadequate and thus nobody could hear the commander.

The best news? It was decided that this event was to be held quarterly. I'll keep you informed of the next awesome cleanup day.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Thoughts and Things that make me laugh


I went to wedding #7 two weekends ago, and I forgot my camera. Again. It was beautiful, right at the base of Afton Mountain, with just a hint of the beginnings of a western VA fall. Now I've been to a bunch of weddings in my life, so even with my small man-brain I've noticed a few things other than the food, cake, and dance moves. I feel sorry for ring bearer. I did it once when I was little. I don't even know who's wedding it was. Basically you take a 5 year old, dress him up in overpriced and uncomfortable clothes which he will stain by running around and sliding in the mud or grass, promise him cake or an action figure, tell him to walk around with a frilly pillow and have all the ladies comment about how cute he is. The child seems to be cuter when he wanders off or does something that if a normal adult did, would be considered a drunk. Ladies, you have no idea how the mind of a 5 year old works. He wants nothing to do with this process. He doesn't want to be ogled at like a puppy. He wants to be a man. GI Joes, monster trucks, you know, man stuff. Women saying, "Awww, how cute!" about 1,000 times is demoralizing. Stop it, girls. Let's stop emasculating kindergartners.

My hockey team still sucks. We still have a woman who shares a locker room with the guys. I'm scoring more so I guess that's a plus. We've been outscored 20-3 over the past 4 games. Gross.

Things that make me laugh: old commercials.